The Crossline Community Groups Podcast

Leading Your First Small Group Meeting: Strategies for Connection and Engagement

• Jordan Gash • Season 1 • Episode 10

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Have you ever wondered how to truly connect and engage with your small group members from day one? Join me as I share the essential strategies and heartfelt insights drawn from my experience as the Community Life Pastor at Crossline Community Church. In this episode, I equip you with practical steps to prepare for your first meeting, from attending training sessions to effectively communicating with your group members. We'll also talk about the biblical story of Mary and Martha to highlight the importance of being present and engaged, rather than feeling behind and not prepared for your guests.

I guide you through facilitating meaningful introductions and fostering those invaluable connections among your group members. Learn how to set clear expectations, gather essential contact information, and provide the necessary directions to make everyone feel comfortable and prepared. As we wrap up, I’ll share a grace-filled blessing inspired by Philippians 1:9-11, encouraging you to continue building a spiritually enriching environment through the power of prayer. This episode is your roadmap to becoming a confident and impactful small group leader, making a significant difference in your community.

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Speaker 1:

Well, hey everyone, my name is Jordan Gash and I am the Community Life Pastor at Crossline Community Church down in Laguna Hills, california, and you are listening to the Crossline Community Groups podcast. This podcast was made particularly for all those leaders out there that we have at our church that are leading small groups, but we also leave it for anybody and everybody to listen to. Maybe you're a small groups pastor out there or you're leading a small group in your church and I'm so glad you joined us, and I hope that you find the information that you're going to hear today helpful. So, before we begin, I just want to say thank you. If you are somebody that is leading a small group in your church anywhere in the world or in America, or maybe right here in California, I want to say thank you so much for what you do. You are making an impact. You are a shepherd in the community and God is pleased at the choice that you have made to lead a small group. Or maybe you are a small groups pastor and, hey, I'm with you right here. You know I love being a part of this community of small groups pastors. I appreciate you listening in again. I hope that some of the things that we talk about today could spark some great ideas for you or help you even lead your small group ministry better. But thank you so much for doing that. You're doing a great job.

Speaker 1:

So today we have a great episode and it's a very practical, very laser focused episode because we're really looking at day one. You see, it's the fall right now. It's in September. In California right now Southern California there is definitely a crazy heat wave. I am like going crazy in the heat. I'm wearing a hat to guard me from the sun and white shirts every day because I want to stay out of the sun. But it is the fall in September and that means many things. That means school, that means football and that means small groups are launching in many of your churches, and it's definitely the case here at Crossline, and if you're listening in as a Crossline member or maybe you're a Crossline host, we hope that you're a part of it and maybe you're leading this group and you are about to start your first small group. And I want to talk to you today about what do you do with day number one, and maybe you feel ready for this day, or maybe you have no idea what you're doing and somehow you ended up you got coerced into leading a group. But I'm here to help and I'm going to help you with what to do first to kick you off on the right step. So that's where we're going to be looking at and, again, like I said, today is going to be super practical. It's going to be very, uh, easy to understand, very practical tips for you to take into your first day.

Speaker 1:

So, um, and first impressions, I mean that it is a big deal. I mean I don't want to put too much pressure on you for this first group, but in many different places, feel ready for that and even before you start your small group, there's some work that you should even be doing to get ready for that, because there's some things that you can do to set yourself up for success. Like number one, here at Crossline, we have trainings and we have orientations that are available to you. We have it digitally and we do things even in person as well. But you definitely should orient yourself to being a host, especially if you've never done it before.

Speaker 1:

Find out, kind of all the details of of what that means at your church, um, and you should talk to your small groups pastor. So if you are at cross line, come talk to me. I would love to hear from you. Just ask whatever questions you have. I can give you some, some advice, some, uh, some encouragement and really just allow me to be a part of your journey through this. And if you're another church, talk to your small groups pastor.

Speaker 1:

Another thing you could do, even before day one, is you should definitely be contacting each of your group members in advance, just introduce yourself, tell them a little bit about yourself, kind of gather some very basic information from them and just kind of get a little bit familiar with that and then finally, know the content that you're going to be going through. For us we have a uh, this tragedy and triumph study that we are launching here. We always launch a new study that we create in the fall and it we all go through it as a whole church, and so that's the content that you can be ready to understand. But again, if you're hosting for the first time and you don't have content that's really connected to your church, know what content that you're going to be going through before day one and be a little bit ready for that when you step into it, all right. So those are the disclaimers.

Speaker 1:

But now it's the day one, it's it's game time. I mean, you are going into your group, it's the day of your meeting and people are starting to arrive. What can you be doing to be ready for that? And step number one is practice, early preparation. And it's early preparation to be ready to be a Mary, not a Martha.

Speaker 1:

So in the Bible we read about this, these, these two disciples, mary and Martha. They're not, they're one of the 12 disciples, but one of the disciples, the two disciples of Jesus, both amazing women, both do incredible things, uh, in the Bible, and very much loved by Jesus. But there is a scenario that happens in the Bible where Jesus comes to their house and as Jesus is getting ready to come to their house, martha is concerned with many things and Mary really concerns herself with the one thing that matters. Listen to what it says in the Bible. It says, as Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said, but Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.

Speaker 1:

So, as a host, you wanna be able to be as present as you possibly can be with your guests when they are there. It's not a bad thing to be distracted with preparations, but you don't wanna be distracted with preparations guests when they are there. It's not a bad thing to be distracted with preparations, but you don't want to be distracted with preparations when your guests are there. So these are the type of things that you want to be thinking about in advance. You're going to be thinking about, okay, before they arrive is is the seating ready? Like I mean, is all the seating kind of where I want it to be? Um, if you're going to be having food or any appetizers, are they already and already put out? Um, temperature, maybe it's really hot outside and you want to make sure your house is cool, or maybe it's really cold and you want to make sure your house is warm. You know, is the temperature okay? Is coffee already made and you want to make sure that's ready to go? Um, if you're playing a video that's connected to your small group, is all the tech set up? Have you already tested it on your TV to make sure that you can just open it up and press play? I mean even the simple things that sound silly but make kind of a big deal is is there toilet paper in the bathroom, like? Those are the kinds of things that you need to be thinking about beforehand because, again, you don't want to be distracted from being present with your guests because you don't have any toilet paper in the bathroom. So definitely do as all that you can to have that early preparation, to be ready to be a Mary sitting with people rather than a Martha distracted by the preparation.

Speaker 1:

So, number two you got to start thinking how am I going to prompt conversation? And I'm going to give you some tips for this. One thing that you could do to help prompt conversation and this is just the conversation that happens when people are coming into your house and they're kind of inter-engaging with each other, cause the most awkward thing that you could have in that moment is really people sitting by themselves, really not talking to anybody, and everybody's kind of like in their own corner of their room and it's all quiet. No bueno, you don't want that. So how do you help make sure that people are dialoguing as they're getting to know each other? Um, one thing that you could do is you can get some questions and you can put some questions out on the tables or around the house. You can put it on the walls. I really like there's something that you can order online, uh, just called table topics, and there's a lot of different versions of the Table Topics and it's a cool little clear box and it's got thousands of questions that you just people can pull out a card and they can ask the question. And just a way to, you know, prompt some conversation and this is going to be shepherding your, really your new members.

Speaker 1:

Well, another thing you could do to prompt conversation is you can make connections. From the pre-research that you've done, you remember how I said, one of the things that you can do in advance is you can just kind of call each person and just introduce yourself, get a little bit of basic information. This can really serve you well on day one because you can, again, you can make those connections between some of the people that are in the group. Make those connections between some of the people that are in the group. Perhaps in that pre conversation you learned that pre research you learned that you know both James and Randall they're both chargers, fans, you know and you could make that connection. Hey, you know, I know the charger game just happened. Now you guys are both fans, right? Oh yeah, randall, did you know that James is a charger fan? Again, silly little thing. But then all of a sudden, now James and Randall have something to talk about.

Speaker 1:

Um, or maybe you learned that both day and Ashley are teachers, and that's another way that you can connect and you could just begin to kind of put people together, get them talking, and then you could even bounce to the next person. But just getting people to kind of interact as people are starting to come in, that's that's something that you want to get ready. Uh, number three. So the first one was be ready to be a Mary, not a Martha. Number two is prompt conversation. Number three is have a game plan for your introductions and expectations.

Speaker 1:

Um, so, when things actually get started, like that means like people are sitting down and you are about to get started in your group time, and this is day number one. So you're going to be doing introductions, and introductions is something you don't want to rush. You want your people to to have space to, to share a little bit about themselves, and this is even for the introverts, because this is important, like this is the first step for someone gaining a sense of belonging is if they can share a little bit about themselves and they can feel heard in that in that scenario. Um, but it's up to you as the host or the leader to to not cause people to to crash and burn or feel awkward right away on like their first interaction. So that means having a having some clear cut directions on how to introduce themselves. And if you have some directions, it's gonna help them. Because if you don't have directions, what that's gonna mean is the extroverts are gonna talk forever and the introverts are gonna say nothing. So you don't wanna just say, hey, tell us about yourself. That's just not really the best way to go about it because it's gonna feel very unbalanced. So have some some clear kind of questions to ask them. That makes it easy, successful and and allows people to open up.

Speaker 1:

You can ask questions. You know your name, how long you've been at the church, at Crossline at the church you've been at no-transcript a little bit about their heart behind this, and then you want to probably ask a question. That's a little bit just fun and silly. It's good for people to laugh. You can ask questions. You know what's your favorite movie. You know, if you could have any superpower like, what would your superpower be? I mean, I know it sounds like kind of kiddish, but people like to feel have fun with that. I also like this question you know what's your favorite place to relax? So my favorite place to relax is definitely I like having snacks, like a bag of chips and a chair on the beach, and I like rocks on the beach. I know that's kind of weird, but like I like to see rocks and see the rocks splashing, it's a nice place to relax. Um, oh, and bonus tip that I'll say in this part take notes, have your pen out and take notes when people are introducing, cause it's going to mean a whole lot If you remember their interests, if you remember their kids names, if you remember their kids' names, if you remember what they do for work the next week.

Speaker 1:

You don't want to forget those things because that's going to make a big impression on them. All right, and then we're going to whip through these last couple real quick. Number four is you want to be ready to gather information. Have a way for people to really start talking outside the group. So I don't know if you're going to gather all their phone numbers and you're going to include them on a group text or you're going to put on a piece of paper and kind of send out contact information. But you want your group members to not just be dependent on you for conversation. You definitely want them interacting with each other. So have a way to kind of gather maybe just simple information like like email and phone number. And maybe you got that through your church's platform, you know, for we we have group vitals and you can get, which is a software we have and you can get all that information there. But if you don't, and even if you do, you would definitely want to kind of have that way to just kind of get in your phone and then start that group text that night. I mean, group texts are great and kind of helps people feel a little bit like they're included and they know what's going on.

Speaker 1:

Number five another thing that you can do for night one to one night. Number one is make sure you give directions for the next session at the end of the night. Make sure you give directions for the next session at the end of the night. So at the end of the night make sure that you tell them what is happening next week very clearly, about the where, the when and then maybe how. Things will be a little bit different next week than maybe this first week that you're having, and for some people that's not really going to matter a ton. I would say I'm a pretty spontaneous kind of guy myself and so like having all of the details is not like the super priority for me. But again, I still am living a life where I'm busy. I got kids, I got things going on and one less thing to really be unsure about for the coming week or to be a little bit anxious about for the coming week is really nice. You know. Just I know what's happening, I'm already set, I know where it's gonna be, it's gonna matter to me. But there are people where this is gonna matter huge to them to know the plan. They know the plan for next week, they are at rest about what's happening next week and they're prepared for next week going on. So give some directions at the end of the night for that.

Speaker 1:

And then lastly and this is something you do the day of and the day before and the day after is you got to be praying? Be praying for your group, for yourself, that God could help you as you're getting ready to host and lead this group and that God could really be making connections, you know, in your group. I mean prayer is just such an amazing way for you to just really release a lot of that, that burden and that anxiety that maybe you're feeling around trying to host this group. I mean it's the Bible man, it's straight from the Bible, it's Philippians 4, 6. Do not be anxious about anything, but everything. By prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. So give that over to the Lord and just allow him to do what only he can do. And I just think even prayer, even if you wanna begin your group, even before introductions, like even before you have to start talking about anything else, prayer is a great way, or even scripture is a great way.

Speaker 1:

To that I preach here at Crossline. Some of you guys know that if you guys are listening from Crossline and it's a and maybe it's not a silly thing, but it's something that I've always just kind of chosen to do is is that when I preach the, always the first words that come out of my mouth when I step on a stage and I'm not saying this is the right way or wrong way, it's just something that I do but, like, the first words that come out of my mouth when I step on stage to come preach a message of the Lord is is I always read scripture first thing and then, and then I always pray, because I feel like what that does is I want, I want God to come first, and so I want God to really be the first things out of my mouth. It's a way for me to kind of, you know, prioritize that as as what I'm, what I'm there for. But then what that also does for me is, I mean, I'm excited and I'm, and maybe I'm nervous and I got all these things I got going on, and that's those are real emotions. I'm ready to get into it, but I this kind of just settles me and settles me for what I'm really trying to do, and that might be the case even for you.

Speaker 1:

So, maybe prayer and and a thing of scripture you know, maybe this scripture, philippians four or six, you know, be anxious. Maybe that's the thing that you do very first on day one is just to kind of settle yourself and get things going, get really conversation going. So, uh, there you learned a little something about me that I wasn't actually planning on sharing, but it just. These are the little things that you can, you can do to get yourself ready. So, um, last thing I'll say about all these tips is I would say that that that's what this is. These are tips, not rules. These, these six things that I told you to do. I'm not saying that if you don't do them, then your group is going to fall apart or it's not going to work. It's not the case, not at all Like. These are just. These are just things that are within your control, that can potentially really smooth out the runway for your takeoff as a small group host. So, just some tips, just some things. I hope you find that helpful for you, as you are stepping into the fall and maybe launching a group for the very first time. So you're doing a great job.

Speaker 1:

Well, hey, let me uh, let me wrap up this podcast by doing what we always do and just blessing you with a blessing that comes straight out of scripture in Philippians, chapter one, verses nine through 11. That you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ and to the glory and praise of God. You guys are doing great. God bless you guys. Have a good rest of your day.