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The Crossline Community Groups Podcast
The Crossline Community Groups Podcast is devoted to empowering leaders who lead church small groups, providing practical tips and biblical wisdom to cultivate authentic relationships and spiritual growth among fellow believers. Whether you're a seasoned leader or starting a small group for the first time, this podcast offers valuable resources to deepen your connection with God and others.
The Crossline Community Groups Podcast
Cultivating Inclusivity and Authenticity: Strategies for Building Thriving Group Dynamics
Get ready to discover the power of inclusivity and authenticity with our dynamic guest, John Agnew. Coupling his firsthand experiences with practical advice, John shines a light on how to create warm and welcoming group environments. As we journey through this episode, he shares his wisdom on the importance of being genuine and the impact of small gestures like providing food to make everyone feel at home. You'll get valuable insights into building a thriving group dynamic that radiates positivity and boosts individual comfort levels.
This episode is far from just surface talk, as we delve into the intricacies of group dynamics, decoding the different personalities that form a group and how to engage with them meaningfully. John, with his heartening encouragement, offers advice that can transform you into a leader who nurtures a sense of belonging among the group members. Furthermore, we explore John's unique strategies for catering to individual needs, such as providing meals and childcare. Wrapping up, we unravel a blessing from Philippians 1:9-11, ensuring you leave this episode with a renewed spirit and tangible strategies for creating successful group environments. Tune in to reap the benefits of John's deep wisdom and enrich your journey in fostering inclusive groups.
All right. Well, we are back with the Crossline Community Groups podcast. Hello everyone, my name is Jordan Gash. I'm the Community Life Pastor at Crossline Community Church in the Good Hills, california, and the reason that we do this podcast is really to help equip group leaders or group pastors those that are serving within small group ministry to really make sure that they got some tips and tricks that can help them along the way.
Speaker 1:I do want to say, as I say with every episode, if that is you, if you're somebody that is leading a group or somebody that is a pastor overseeing this type of ministry, I want to say thank you for what you do. As one that's in this field as well, I know how important it is, I know how valuable it is, I know the ways that it impacts human lives, so I want to thank you for that. God be glorified in all of that. So, if you missed our last episode, we talked about the five things that every group needs, and we use the acronym SCALE. We talked about that. You need structure, consistency, you need agreement, leadership and environment, and I did tell you, if you participated in the last episode, that we were going to talk more about environment and really building the right environment for that. So we're going to step into that.
Speaker 1:So on today's episode, we have a dear friend of mine on the podcast, one of the true masters of environment building, mr John Agnew. Let's give it up for him. Yes, john Agnew. John, you're one of my favorite humans. This guy is amazing. We're going to talk more about him in a sec. But, john, I want to ask the question to start off with. Just tell us how you got started in community groups and how you really began this journey. It's actually all your fault, john. It is Well. You're welcome.
Speaker 2:I was newly here at Crossline, newly connected to a church for the first time in a couple of decades of walking with the Lord, and I was on fire to join in and be part of anything and everything I could. That's why I felt led and I was really nervous when Jordan put out the invitation about the first community group launch here, but I knew without a doubt that's something I wanted to do, so I jumped with my hand up and the rest is history. It's been five years plus now of community groups going and it's been nothing short of amazing every time.
Speaker 1:And I love this story because when I first met John he's like, ok, I think I'm going to step into this man. He took off like a rocket and just the ways that he was doing it just made sense and he had success. And he saw that and the next year he had more success, to the point where now, years into it, I've pulled him into kind of my inner circle with some conversations around how to lead community groups and really an example of how to kind of move that directly. And so I'm really thankful that he's on my team, I'm really thankful that he's at our church. And one thing I got to say is that environments they really matter.
Speaker 1:I mean in groups, not only are you trying to understand the Bible more, but you're trying to grow in fellowship, and in fellowship you're really expressing real life and things that happen. And so you have to have an environment where you feel comfortable, where you feel welcome, you feel safe, that there's safety there and that makes a big difference. I mean it totally makes a big difference. You can see that in the Bible. You can see God orchestrated different environments. Jesus orchestrated different environments that he brought his disciples into. You know he had moments where he was on the boat with the disciples and he had moments where he's on the mountain and he had moments where he pulled them off into solitary places because he had different messages and different ways to build those relationships. So environments really do matter. So, pitching a question to you, john, can you explain maybe some of the things that you did to create an environment where people felt welcome, comfortable and loved in your group?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, first of all, an area where people could sit comfortably. You don't want to cram a bunch of people on a love seat, you know, bumping elbows, or just so comfortable basic you can sit and feel relaxed, be welcoming to each and every one of them, because people want to know that you're happy to see them and you're glad they're there. Just be genuine, which obviously you're that type of person if you're hosting and having to run in a group. So just be yourself and just be again as attentive to. Well, I think maybe further on we'll talk about that. But as far as creating that environment, again, make it comfortable, make it easy for them to come in and just be welcoming, but that'll get them there.
Speaker 1:Well, you're being.
Speaker 2:You're not speaking because I know you do it, john does a lot.
Speaker 1:I came to your group, john, and to this day, man, I don't know if I've had a better kind of moment in groups. I, it was such joy to be amongst your guys. But one thing that John's not saying is that John felt very inclined to have food for everyone. You would make dinner, right, you'd make dinners for people. You'd say, come, I'll feed you, I want you to come and, and they would enjoy dinner together really before they really got deep into the conversation and just that, that was disarming for people you know to sit around, to be eating and I just I love that. So, speaking, in addition to Making dinners and other things, you know, how do you think some of those intentional environment creating actions really helped your group grow, not only a number, but grow in depth, like, how did some of those things really assist that?
Speaker 2:You know, I personally I think it just made it normal, you know it's, you're just getting together Over a meal. The meal was a big deal, it was a big hit and I loved doing, I love to cook, so I just embraced that. God shaped me that way, you know, for years, so I always loved it and I love being a host, I love serving people, and so I just embraced that and Went with it. And I believe that when you are consistently Feeding the needs, you know the hunger as well as the need to feel, you know, comfortable and just Erase you erase that awkward moment.
Speaker 2:Like you said, you're just getting together having a meal and these guys may not know each other, but when you're eating, you know the conversation just goes. You're not as Protective of what you're saying or self-conscious, you could just have a conversation. So that was the best icebreaker to sit now that meal first. And of course, you know food is we all love food and and that just that just Set the set the stage for a good, you know, comfortable, friendly you know atmosphere and you said something, john.
Speaker 1:I think you talked about awkwardness and I'll tell you guys, and then John can agree, a group is only as awkward as the good as the host makes it right. If the if the host is very awkward and the ways that they welcome people or the ways that they treat kind of the group, making it sound Way more Official or organized that it really needs to be, it's gonna make everybody have that same type of kind of feeling. So it being relaxed, just kind of welcoming people into your home, feeding them, doing what you love to do, it's so important. So I love that you addressed that. Because a group is, you know, you get just kind of set the tone as a host around awkwardness.
Speaker 1:So I don't know how to better say just don't be awkward. Don't be awkward, just enjoy it, just be yourself. And so, and what you created, john, and what we're all trying to do when we lead groups, is really build a sense of belonging, that somebody Comes into a place and comes into a space that they they feel like they belong, they feel like they're included, they feel seen. Why do you think that is so important to groups? Why do? Why do people so desire to get a sense of belonging.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we all need to be, we all need to feel worth. Yeah, you know, and, and somebody giving you just a time of day, mm-hmm. Can change somebody's day, mm-hmm, you know, let alone Setting an atmosphere like that to where you are welcome. Here's your seat. What can I get for you? You know, make yourself right at home things. I would say it especially to the new people make yourself at home the bathrooms right down the hall there. You know, my house is your house, that kind of thing. So, and what it does is just establish people that, okay, I can relax a little bit, I'm not a total stranger here, I'm not a, you know, I'm not a Sore thumb in a group kind of thing. This, this feels you just got to give them that confidence that you are love, you are wanted, you are appreciated. People need to know that. Otherwise, I mean look at the results of people who don't have that feeling of belonging. They go after it in wrong ways or they sit miserable and alone, missing out Sense of belonging.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's Just so important. I don't really Can't other than that's why we were created, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:right, we were created to be together, mm-hmm, and I think when, when they feel like they belong somewhere, it's, it's a place they want to go back to Right, because we go back out into the world and there's isolation, there is a sense of not feeling that, and so if you have an environment that really does champion a place that I'm seeing, I'm known, I'm loved, I put Long here, you know, john sees me, these other guys in this group see me and I just I have this here. It makes people want to come back because it's an addictive thing. We all want to be feeling that we belong and so I love that.
Speaker 2:Now, you know, can I say something? Yeah, totally, as far as wanting to come back. It not only does that, but it makes them feel more confident in inviting somebody else to come with them. It's like I belong there. So why? Of course, I'll be able to bring somebody along with me, because that's the sense you're part of this team, you're part of this group. No, okay, so, yeah, so they do. They feel more comfortable and I had a lot of that. I had a lot of guys telling a lot of other guys about the group, john, I you made such.
Speaker 1:this is again. This is why he's on my team, like this is why I bring him in, because he pinpointed something that is crucial for groups. Now, this takes a little bit of time to establish and it takes building an environment where people feel belonging and identity. But what happens is that belonging then shifts into ownership. You get to feel a sense of ownership. If I belong here, then I have a stake in the game. Exactly Right. And that that is how groups grow Is when they feel like they have ownership, that they belong here and they can actually invite others into that, and the host actually supports that and says hey, this is an open space. That's when you see the growth and the depth. And it not only grows the new people that come and they get to participate in that same kind of environment, it grows the person that actually invited, because now they're being activated and being a community builder. And so it's disciples making disciples in the most simple way making food and seeing them and saying Come, sit down. I mean that's, it's a beautiful way to make yourself, so that's, that's great.
Speaker 1:Now, one thing I was going to say, john, is I sometimes can get into this vein as well, and we all can. When we throw a party or we kind of get a get together, or even as a church event, we focus on, ok, how do I make the group feel welcome, how do I make the group feel seen, but we forget that it's so important to see individuals, you know, because every individual is different and has different needs and is coming into the group with different desires. And you're so good at that, john. You see people as individuals. You're great at putting on a great hospitable environment, but then you take the time to see individuals and knowing their struggles, where they're coming from, where they're coming in their faith. How does a host really really build a group that supports a variety of individuals? So what I'm saying is really you know, why is knowing people on an individual level so important for building the right environment?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the more you know about somebody, especially on an individual level, the more you can react or where you can act towards them as far as their needs, or you can cater to any specifics that they might have shyness or awkwardness or anything like that and you can. You can, you know, embrace that and help him. You know, in one way or another, you know, help him through that, pull him along out of any kind of shyness or awkwardness. It's, yeah, it's super important because what we need to, what you need to do as a host is and it's is is understand that this group is made up of individuals and, as I've had a lot of pastors, bless me with the, the knowledge and teaching of how we need to pay attention to that.
Speaker 2:You know, no, you know, watch for the guy who's staying quiet in the corner and and address that. You know, reach out to him, get him engaged. There's no like, there's no dumb answer to a question. You know, come on, it's your answer and you just, and you and you, you help it. Help, you know, bring him into the conversation. If I had a lot of guys that were not socially, you know, strong and for various reasons, and you got to be sensitive to that. And then you got guys that are overly Capable in a social situation. And well, you want to, you want to be mindful that as well and and take the opportunities and they arise to To work with it, to work with that person again, making them feel belong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because those people that talk a lot will. They'll take over the conversation if you don't champion the ones that are lower. Shy, right, right.
Speaker 2:And you know what, be mindful of that as well. You, that's a person who you know. You engage them into a more of a leadership role and that'll help them. To you you say use some of that to pull some of these other guys along, help them. You know, be mindful of this guy's not participating, she's not talking. You know, engage them you know it helps.
Speaker 2:No, I got what I wanted to back up to. One thing it helps the group to is that makes people feel more like they belong and we're comfortable is let them be involved. They want to bring some food or a dessert or anything to the group. Absolutely, you know there's bring it. This is where it's like a make it more like a family. We're all one big family here, this group. Everybody's welcome to be themselves and do whatever they want to contribute, and this, again, that's the part of feeling more like belonging and why people really need it. Well, again, we were creative for that.
Speaker 1:And I think what you said, john, is that you have to recognize that Some people will hide behind their quietness and some people will hide behind talking too much, but they're still all hiding right. Some people feel more comfortable just talking a lot, talking a lot, talking a lot to hide Maybe their real self, and some people just shut down and be quiet. And it's our jobs as leaders and hosts. If we know them on an individual basis and know kind of them in a deeper level, we can champion that and champion helping them not talk so much, when those that talk a lot Maybe they don't need to talk as much. Or the ones that don't talk but them talk, help ask the right questions. That brings out the right conversation.
Speaker 1:Because this reminds me of, you know, john the Baptist came and he talks about making straight the way of the Lord and that means so much to me, not only and just kind of what John the Baptist came to do and making straight the way of Jesus and paving in that way, but that's kind of our job as well is how do we remove the obstacles and move the mountains and move the things that are blocking the way For Jesus to communicate to people right. How do we make straight the path for Jesus to communicate to people? And that's one of the things that we do as hosts is recognizing. Okay, there might be specific obstacles with each person that really inhibits them from from hearing and receiving, and so my job as a host is almost to see how can I Take those little things away. And that's what environment does I mean, if you want to talk about what an environment does an environment really makes straight the way of the Lord right. It makes a way for people to feel comfortable. I and really receive and participate in that, and so that's why I know that groups is such a holy work.
Speaker 1:I said it in the beginning. I say it at the beginning of every episode. It's like God bless you guys for what you're doing, because this is a holy work that has amazing kingdom purposes. Even though you may not feel it all the time Maybe you just feel like I'm just I'm gonna open my home and make them food and I love doing this, anyways, it's still a holy work that God is using. So, john, is there any advice that you'd give new group leaders? You know, as they step into this? What kind of would you advise them as they're thinking about doing small groups.
Speaker 2:Don't overthink it, don't. Ultimately, the Holy Spirit's gonna be facilitating your reading. You open up in prayer and invite him in and just trust him. This is like he said this is God's work. And you stepped out to host a group. You obviously have been equipped or called to do that, so trust in the Lord. He'll lead you through it. Just be yourself, like you would with any other social gathering.
Speaker 2:Again, don't overthink it. Don't overstress it. If you're gonna do food, you know, don't overtax yourself. Keep it within the parameters of something manageable for yourself. So you'll have a stressful time or wear yourself out just trying to get ready for the meeting and down and take the time. Take the time to get to know the people you know just a few minutes as they come in. Spend you know with each individual you probably already know most of them, but especially the new ones and then get their feedback too. Just get people engaged. What do you think about this? And the more you hear about the wonderful things going on the Lord's doing in those groups, the more excited you're gonna get for the next one and the more confident you're gonna be in the next one, cause, again, like Jordan said, this is God's work, and he's doing it through you, through us.
Speaker 1:Let him. That's great. Well, thank you, john. And to John's point, don't overthink it, don't tax yourself too much. You know the best way to create an environment For John obviously, making dinners. You know men love food, they love to eat. You know we're gonna even in our next episode, we're gonna be talking to Megan and Matthew, and you know they may not be making food all the time, but they also provide childcare and that's one way to make people that have kids feel welcome. I mean, there's just-.
Speaker 1:It's this idea of okay, how do I feel like I have belonging? And it may be. It may be making food, like John does, it may be childcare or maybe something completely different, but you kind of have to be the one to assess that. So, thank you, john. Well, as always, as we leave this episode, I want to bless each and every one of you, and we always bless out of Philippians, one nine through 11. So let me pray blessing over you and get you off to your day, and this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Thanks so much, you guys.