The Crossline Community Groups Podcast

Creating Impactful Small Group Experiences: A Practical Guide

• Jordan Gash • Season 1 • Episode 2

Share episode

Are you longing for a thriving small group, one that is engaging, fulfilling, and brings about spiritual growth? Then strap in as we take you on a journey to uncover the secret behind successful small groups in today's episode. Using the acronym 'S.C.A.L.E.' as a guide, we delve into the five crucial foundations - Structure, Community, Accountability, Leadership, and Engagement. We draw on my college experiences, illustrating how these principles were instrumental, from setting up meeting times to fostering a culture of accountability and engagement.

As we navigate through the episode, we underline the vital role communication plays within small groups. Sharing struggles, establishing a commitment contract, respecting the group’s structure, and maintaining confidentiality are all paramount for a small group to function smoothly. We also explore the significance of creating an inviting group environment, drawing comparisons from various coffee shops, to demonstrate how small details, such as room setup, food, and music, can shape group dynamics.

In conclusion, we offer a heartfelt prayer, with a desire for your love to deepen and your understanding to grow. We aim to equip, encourage, and inspire you to lead effectively, hoping that you can discern what is best and remain blameless and pure, filled with the righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ. Excellent for group leaders, potential group leaders, and pastors overseeing small groups, this episode is a treasure trove of insights making your small group a nurturing and engaging experience. Tune in, and let's SCALE up your small group together!

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Well, hello everyone. Welcome to the Crossline Community Groups podcast. My name is Jordan Gash. I'm the Community Life Pastor at Crossline Community Church down in Laguna Hills, california. We got a great afternoon for you, I got my coffee here and we're going to have a good show for you.

Speaker 1:

We talk in this podcast, we talk to those that are leading groups right now, or maybe a pastor that oversees small groups at a church, or maybe just people that are interested in jumping into a group and this is what this whole podcast is about is helping equip you with the right tools and the right encouragements that you need to lead effectively. If you are one of those people, if you are leading a group right now, if you're thinking about leading a group, or if you're a pastor and you oversee small groups at your church, I do want to just say thank you, thank you for what you do. This is an amazing ministry that has incredible results in the kingdom and you're doing a great job. So, with that, let's step into it. Today, we're going to be talking about the five things that every group needs. Now, you've heard me say on the last episode and you're probably going to hear me say it on every single episode that every single group that is out there is different. There's no two groups that are exactly the same. It's going to be a record on repeat for Jordan Gash over here. I'm going to be telling you that all the time.

Speaker 1:

And so all these groups, they all have their own flavor. You guys have flavors. We all have flavors that we like. That works for us. Gp, I bet you have a favorite flavor. Gp, you have a favorite flavor of things. What do you like? Dr Pepper? Dr Pepper, that's a good flavor. That's like 26 flavors, 23. 23, that's right. 23 flavors. Dr Pepper that's pretty good. You know, everybody's got a favorite Doritos flavor. We all got different flavors, and so your group if you're a part of one or if you're going to be starting a group is also going to have its own unique flavor. That's going to be perfect for the people in your group.

Speaker 1:

One of the things I want to talk to you about today, as we talk about, really, the five things that every single group needs, I want to talk to you guys about a story that happened when I was in college, way back when I was a junior punk and I was 18 years old, entering Azusa Pacific University in Azusa, california, and I was a youth ministry major and I took a class that first year called the Foundations of Youth Ministry. I was very excited to step into this class. It was something that I was really intrigued by. I'll tell you right now, I hated the class, absolutely hated the class. Dr Steve Durrally, I love you, I've come to love you, but that class particularly, I did not like because I was in a unique mindset. Stepping into that, I was 18. I felt like I knew everything.

Speaker 1:

So when you step into a youth ministry class, or especially the foundations of youth ministry, dr Durrally began to teach us all the things that have to be part of every youth ministry and to me, as he's telling me, the science of youth ministry. I believe that you can't say that every youth ministry is going to be the same, because every youth ministry is different. Every youth ministry has its own life and there's no exact science to youth ministry. It's all organic, it's the Holy Spirit, man, and he would teach and say these things like you have to have this as a part of it. And he made us do this huge youth ministry handbook that, as I was making it, I was bitter. I was like I'm just going to do your assignment. I'm going to make it happen, but I don't know if I'll ever really use this. Well, I think you guys all know the story.

Speaker 1:

Dr Steve Durrally probably was never more right about where you need to begin in leading youth ministry. There are foundational principles that have to step into youth, that you have to have of you step into youth ministry, and there are foundational principles that you have to have if you are leading a small group. So here are those five things, the five foundations that you need if you are a group leader, if you want to be successful. And because I took classes like foundations of youth ministry, I know that I want to put these things in either alliterations or acronyms. So I have a wonderful acronym for you guys today. So I am saying that if you are starting a group or looking to assess the success of your group, you're going to need to put it on the scale S-C-A-L-E. Let's step into it. What's the S stand for? S stands for structure. Every group needs to have structure.

Speaker 1:

And here's, there's two things I want to say about structure. You got to have a structure for your meeting time and you got to have a structure on what or how you're going to study as you step into your Bible study. And let me talk first about the meeting time. Again, last week we talked about how every group should have a vision, and you should have a vision that comes out of your own personal convictions and feedback from the group. And then what you do is you build that structure of your group around that vision. And so some people are going to have longer times of prayer, some people are going to have longer times of Bible study, sometimes they're going to have people are going to have longer times of fellowship and eating appetizers and whatever it might be.

Speaker 1:

But it is so important that you have an understanding of what the structure is of that group, what's the general timeline of that group, and you should have a timekeeper. Maybe that's you, maybe that's somebody that's just really all about being on time. But have a timekeeper that kind of has an idea of when you need to switch over to the next part of your group. Because if you don't have that structure and you're doing it all organic, like what tends to happen is you run out of time, you get to the point where everybody needs to go home to their babysitters and you never even actually talked about the Bible. So you want to have structure, you want to have that all connected and have that kind of in the back of your mind. You don't need to be so regimen and so strict about it that it just constricts everybody, but you should have some movement and some flow in the structure. You should also have structure on what or how you're going to study.

Speaker 1:

Now here at Crossline, something that we do every fall is we create our own curriculum that people can follow and it's very detailed and kind of just leads you step by step in a group. Now we only create those curriculums really once a year, and the rest of the year we encourage them to check out. One of the resources that we have at Crossline is Right Now Media, which has a bunch of studies about a bunch of different things video studies that we have, books that we can offer people. But you should have an idea of what you're gonna study and, if not, what you're gonna study. If you're just gonna jump into the Bible and read scripture, because some groups like to do that, or if they're gonna talk about the sermon, you should know how you're gonna discuss it. Are there common questions that you're gonna go through every week as you go to the scripture so that people know how to discuss, how to move things along, and so you need to have that.

Speaker 1:

Structure is important. It's one of the five things that every group needs if it's going to be effective. Now, moving on to the C, one of the loudest drums that I will bang on when it comes to small groups is consistency. Nothing causes a group to get more out of whack than inconsistency with members or even meetings of the group. Consistency is so important because when things and attendees are constantly fluctuating, it sends this vibe of instability and especially, it sends this vibe of instability for those that are really committed to being there. When they're there every week and they're making time and they're getting the babysitter early and they're getting there, making it a priority, when everybody else is kind of a big question mark. It does send this vibe and this idea that is like, is this group really worth it to everybody? Like, is this something that everybody's really committed to? I don't know how I really feel about this group.

Speaker 1:

Those are all things that are important and we need to have that consistency. Now you can continue to have a group and learn without the greatest consistency. But if you really wanna maximize what the group can be, you've got to be consistent. This is how you build what our group calls. We call our group the family, the friend family, and that's because we've spent years together being consistent with each other, being in each other's lives and making it a commitment to be a small group, to prioritize it and to be there, and that's how you build that great sense of family. So I'm encouraging you that if you want that kind of attitude in your group, if you want that feeling and that fellowship with those people in your group, consistency is gonna be a key thing.

Speaker 1:

Now, what does consistency look like? We do weekly and most groups probably would say weekly you meet. That might not work for everyone and that's okay, but you should have some idea of what your consistency looks like. Maybe that's once a month, maybe that's once every other week, whatever it might be. You need to figure out what works for you and then stick with it. Find out what works for you and your group and then stick with it. Don't branch out from it and don't kinda be wishy-washy. Stick with it.

Speaker 1:

Overcome the obstacles to consistency. So I've been in a lot of groups. I've talked with a lot of groups. A lot of the obstacles of consistency come around to being childcare. I don't have childcare, or I can't find this with my kids. It could also be holidays and calendar. You haven't really planned that, you haven't really looked at that, and so you find yourself actually having all these holidays that are on your usual group time and you just haven't planned accordingly to make up for that Location Location is also an obstacle to consistency. I can talk Consistency. Maybe you have a group and they all live in one city, but you're choosing to meet at a place that's five miles away from that city. That might be another challenge that makes it hard for people to be consistency. So find the obstacles to consistency and overcome them.

Speaker 1:

I wanna share a story of a way that our group overcame consistency. So we were actually at a stage in our life me and my wife Alex, we were at a stage where, man, we were going to group and we were spending a lot of money on babysitters. But we've always committed to that because it's a priority. We're okay spending that because we wanna be at our group. Now we were at a season where things were getting a little tight and it was tough for us to really budget out a babysitter every week for our small group.

Speaker 1:

And the ways that we did this and we approached this is we communicated Communication. It's so important. We just communicated with our group and said, hey guys, we're really struggling right now to really come to group, because here's what's happening. And do you know what my family did? Every single one of them rallied around us and said, oh my gosh, we want you there, we want you to be a part of it. We know we're good, we have family watching our kids and or my kids are have an older child and so we can be watched there. Why don't we just, for the time being, until you guys need it, let's just meet at your house and you can have the kids there. And that type of community, that type of fellowship, really spoke volumes to me and my wife and really reminded us.

Speaker 1:

Why this small group is so important to us is because they really value us and they want us to really be consistent with them. We want to be consistent with them and they want us to be consistent with them and and that's such a huge deal for us so, when you are maybe in a season where consistency is hard, communicate it and either the group will find a way to make it work for you or they'll graciously let you take a little break for a season, and that's okay. Sometimes you just are so busy. You got sports, you've got things going on, you got trips. You may need to take a break from the six weeks six week study. That you're gonna do hey, we're gonna take a little break for the six week study, we'll come back after, and that's okay. But at least you've been clear about it, saying hey, because we can't be consistent, we're just gonna take a little break and we'll come back after that. So those things are important.

Speaker 1:

One thing that you might consider and we do this with our community groups and some of the studies that we have in the books that we create is you might want to consider a commitment contract. I know it sounds super official, but it's really good if you just begin a group and saying, hey, guys, we want to be committed because it's important to us. It's really how we're gonna grow together. So we're gonna do just a little contract that says, hey, we're in, we want to be a part of this. We're gonna do make every effort to participate as much as we can, and you just kind of people just sign that you know, turn that in or make them file it away. It's kind of just a personal covenant that you make with your group. That might be something that's important, which is a good transition as I talk about the next thing on our list, the A. But before I do that, let me take a sip of my coffee. I love coffee. I got a story about coffee later. I'll tell you about it later Later. Gp Okay, the A Agreements, agreements, jordan.

Speaker 1:

What do you mean by agreements and why is this one of the five things that you need for an effective group? Well, there are certain things that need to be established and agreed upon by all members of the group. If you want an effective group, if you want a growing group, there are certain things that you need to all agree upon, and these things may seem like no-brainers, but I'm telling you that it's worth acknowledging them and getting everyone's agreement. And if you're starting a new group or bringing new people into the group, you need to regularly visit this. So what are some of these agreements? Well, we just talked about the first one Commitment. If people are going to participate in their group, you want people that are actually wanting to participate, people that are committed to being there and committed to growing the group, because, again, as we said, consistency is one of the main things that gets a group completely out of whack in our weird place. So have an agreement around commitment.

Speaker 1:

The next thing you want to have an agreement on is you want to agree upon confidentiality. In a small group, you get a chance to really open up with some people that in a way that you may never open up with and other people. It needs to be a safe place. It needs to be a place where you can really share your heart, the struggles that maybe you and your spouse are going through, or challenges that you're having with a product of a son or daughter, or financial challenges. I mean, all these things naturally come up when you talk about prayer requests, as you talk about things in Scripture that trigger really emotions out of you. These things will come up and you want them to come up. You want that small group to be a place where you can share those things, but if there's not an agreement around confidentiality, it makes it a very unsafe place. You need to be able to come together as a group and say hey guys, the things that we talk about here and the things that we divulge with one another is going to stay here. It's going to stay with us. We're not going to go gossip, we're not going to go share this. We're not going to speak negatively about each other. We're going to keep it confidential and we're going to keep it here. That's another agreement that needs to be made. Somewhat in line with.

Speaker 1:

That is also integrity have integrity with what you're communicating. Don't lie to your group. That's important. If you want your group to grow, there can't be lying. There's got to be honesty and integrity about what's going on. Don't make up excuses about why you can't be there when it's something completely different. If you want to grow as a group, you've got to be able to be honest with them. Have integrity with them. Be truthful to your fellow members. Those things are important. Integrity, respect for the structure Remember we talked about structure.

Speaker 1:

That was the S. Structure is important. Respect the structure. If your leader is trying to move you to the next part of the group, if we're really trying to move you into the discussion time, respect it, because we're really trying to stay organized. We're trying to stay focused so that we can accomplish what we're trying to accomplish, but if people don't respect that and they just disregard it, it's not going to go well. So have an agreement around respect for the structure and then if there's anything else that's in line again we talked about building a small group around vision.

Speaker 1:

If there's other things that are in line with your vision that you need to agree upon, make sure you have those conversations, so agreements. So we got structure, we got consistency and we got agreements. Alright, we're going to move to the L? L stands for leadership. Okay, I've got to step into this and honestly, this one could get a little sticky.

Speaker 1:

People can get really weird about leadership and I would say that some of the most common conversations that I have with people around small groups and the conflicts that happen have something to do with leadership. I mean, I have those conversations all the time in my offices and so it's weird how these things can really cause a group to fall apart. So leadership is important and if you don't have leadership, it's going to be hard to progress things forward. And though some may disagree and people have disagreed with me on this I stand by that conviction that groups. You have to have a decided upon. Leader or a leading couple, the whole organic everyone leads model may make it through a few weeks and kind of feel all happy, happy, joy, joy. But these groups don't last. I've seen it time and time again. They just don't last. So and I've experienced it myself I've been in groups where this has happened you got to have somebody that's a leader, that's going to lead the group, and here's what a leader does.

Speaker 1:

The leader is not some dictator of the group that really commands the presence, but more of a shepherd. It's the point person for communications, for the text chain, for decisions, for curriculum etc. Like all that stuff. It's that person that takes it upon themselves to be responsible for the group, making sure the group is active and making sure the group is progressing, and usually the leader is the key facilitator for the structure and the discussion. So they're the ones that not necessarily are saying everything in the discussion, but they are the ones kind of moving from question to question, asking people what they think about that. You know, hey Julie, what? How did you respond to that Bible verse? Or hey Rob, you know, you know what, how does that kind of play into the ways that we're parenting our children? I mean those kind of questions.

Speaker 1:

Right, here's some facilitating that a leader usually does and again it's it's good to see a leader like a shepherd, right, I don't want the leader talking the whole time. I don't want the leader to be given a sermon. That's a bad small group. There should no be no sermon givers. They're shepherds. They're people that are just kind of shepherding the conversation, making sure that people are staying connected. They're the ones that, if there hasn't been a text about group prior to group hey guys, just a reminder, we're meeting such and such time this day, at this time, or haste group, or we're taking a break this weekend because it's a holiday or whatever it might be just kind of takes over upon themselves to be responsible for the group.

Speaker 1:

It's important and there's ways to make this feel more organic and kind of shared together and that might mean like a rotating leadership, which is okay. You can kind of rotate leaders over the course of time. Maybe somebody is a leader for a quarter and then to break it up, you can have a different leader, and everybody kind of understands that. But that would say that that's probably for more established groups, that people really know each other and they really trust each other in the beginning, especially for a new group, it is important to have somebody that is that leader that's going to kind of move things forward. And one of the languages that we use here at Crossline and we also use the language host we ask you to be a host of the group. Now, a host and a leader can be the same thing. They can be the same person or the same couple or they can be different, and I'll explain a little bit of what a host is here on our next point.

Speaker 1:

But really the leader is the one that again is separating the group, and it's important that a group, including the leaders of that group, and so the group, everybody in the group, which includes the person who's going to be the leader, should be in agreement about who that leader is. So you don't want to elect a leader that doesn't want to be a leader that doesn't want to lead hey, I don't want to lead, I'm not interested in it, don't want to do that. But there should be an idea of saying everybody agrees, including the person that is being quote, unquote elected to be the leader. They should say I'm willing to do that and I'm open for doing that, and that person should be willing and capable to step into that role. Now I want to share something with you guys.

Speaker 1:

I have led lots of groups in the past, but now I don't lead. And I may be speaking to the pastors and directors of small group ministry out there, but I don't lead. It's not healthy for me. I am just constantly in a place as a pastor where I'm making decisions and I'm trying to guide people spiritually. I'm trying to make spiritual decisions and I'm constantly in this place of being on and I need a place that I can be led, a place that I can just participate. It's healthy for me to have that. And so what happens is we have a leader.

Speaker 1:

The leader of our family group is my buddy, brandon, and his wife, jacqueline, and they are amazing and they're not pastors, they're not elders, they're just people here at our church. But they are just so great right now. They're just the way they lead. They are perfectly designed for that and it's really healthy and we all see that in him and he's excited about that. He feels built up. This, jacqueline feels built up in this and it's a beautiful thing. All right, that brings us to our last point, the fifth thing that you need if you were going to have an effective group is environment, and we're actually not going to go too deep into this right now because we're actually going to be having a whole episode on creating an environment of belonging and growth on our next episode and we'll be interviewing actually one of the pros in this department, my buddy, john Agnew. He's going to be coming in and sharing some of the things that he's done and I think you guys are going to really grow from what he has to say.

Speaker 1:

But I'll briefly share what I mean by environment. Let me put it this way. So I told you GP. I told you that I love coffee and I've been to a whole bunch of coffee shops, all sorts of different type of coffee shops. So I've been to the coffee shops that are distinctly sleek and they have great Wi-Fi and there's workstations everywhere and there's lots of plugs, and I've been to the coffee shops that are filled with couches and big armchairs and candles and incense. I've been in a coffee shop with incense, gp, yeah, anyways, they're out there, right, incense? Some have, and then some coffee shops have.

Speaker 1:

And again, I like these coffee shops. These are cool. They have all the most fancy machines and then copious amounts of specialty roasted coffee. Like these are the snobs. Those are the snobby places, my kind of places. I like those places. And then there's some places that they don't have any chairs no chairs, maybe just a walk-up window and a drive-through, but they just get you out, in and out fast, get your cup of coffee in your hand so you can be on the go. Now those are four examples of coffee shops that I've been to and the way that I describe them. It didn't take much explanation to kind of know what they're there for what. The key point of those coffee shops are the ones with the plugs and the workstations and the Wi-Fi maybe is a good place to come and work, get jobs done, to have meetings in that place. The ones with couches and armchairs and incense. Maybe you just want to relax with a cup of coffee and take a load off. And maybe the ones with the fancy machines and all the best coffee. That's like for again, for the snobs, and they really want to test their palate on all the different types of coffee. And then they've got the ones that are just trying to get you in and out as fast as possible.

Speaker 1:

The environments of each of these places. They all communicate something and they invite you into different behaviors and mindsets. That's how you step into these coffee shops. The same should be true for your group, from the setup of the room to the food you offer, to the music if you have a fire pit all of that stuff. The ways that people interact with each other, the way you greet people at the door when they enter to.

Speaker 1:

Again, we've talked about it multiple times with childcare the way you have childcare. Do you have childcare in your group? We have some groups that actually have set up their group where there's a whole separate room where all the kids go and they play and they enjoy it. And that might be part of the environment that you create, that this is a place that you can bring your kids and enjoy some time, that kids can play and we can have a discussion. So you've got to be able to set up an environment that works. And again, I'm not going to go deep into this because there's a whole episode about this next time where we're going to talk about all of the little things that you can do to help this, but this really falls into the hands of the host Now.

Speaker 1:

As I said before, the host and the leader can be the same or they can be different, but the host needs to be the one that is great with hospitality, hospitality, somebody that just knows how to make people feel welcome, get a sense of belonging, is warm and friendly, knows how to kind of set up the room in the right way. If they're going to be all watching a video, it should be set up in the right way in advance. I mean kind of knowing how you want to build it to accomplish what you're really trying to accomplish. So your environment should match what you want for the group. So there you go, friends.

Speaker 1:

Five things that every group needs if you're going to have an effective group. If you're starting a group, make sure to incorporate these five things. And if you're leading an existing group, maybe you put your group on the scale and see if there are ways that you can greater, maximize your group. And again, if you're a pastor or a director overseeing small group ministry, maybe think about ways that you can help your groups be successful with these five things. Outside of that there's a lot of room because, like I said, no group is the same. You guys are all unique. But if you have these foundational principles, just kind of like I learned in my foundations of youth ministry, if you have those foundational principles you can really build something truly incredible. Even in the years beyond that youth ministry class, you know, we got into the more you know creative sides of youth ministry and we got to be able to see how each ministry would actually take you know features from who God created you to be. So it is kind of unique how you start with foundations, the building blocks, and then you can kind of grow from there to make it something uniquely special for you. Well, that's what I got for you.

Speaker 1:

The way that we like to close all of these podcasts is I want to bless you, and we bless you from our particular scripture. It's Philippians 1, 9 and 11. So I send you off of this, and this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. We'll catch you next time as we talk about environments.